Revenge

I rose with the lark this morning
The very first cuckold of spring
And i took my revenge
With a typist from Penge
And an Avon Lady from Tring

Then a parking attendant from Clapham
Clamped me as tight as a vice
But the kerbside robber
Leapt out of her clobber
And actually, treated me nice

A happy hairdresser from Harlow
Insisted her talents were perms
So not feeling sure
I was out of the door
I`m used to more flexible terms

Not sure if my heart has been broken
Perhaps it is just wounded pride
These things i have done
Are they evil, or fun?
I leave it to you to decide

Of course, I`m not usually vengeful
And not one to harbour a grudge
Tomorrow they say
Is another new day
Would you like me to give you a nudge?